14 April 2011

Somewhere between West and North London

Some things that happen in the city are just so… inappropriate. So obvious these things are situated outside of people’s comfort zones, that it’s funny that these strange ‘shocking’ stuff happens as often as it does.

What do I mean? Well here are a few that I’ve experienced in the past two weeks.


Large amount of vomit on the tube. It was as large and voluminous as it stank. Luckily, the type of trains that run in the London Underground are cool and well-ventilated… Oh wait, they’re quite the opposite. Despite this, people were too uncomfortable to even just another seat on the same carriage, let alone unother carriage altogether! It’s like they were too embarrassed.


In a Primark store, a man was dragged out kicking and screaming: “You’re not the police! You’re not the police!”. The store remained completely silent as everyone’s head was turned to the source of drama.


On a night bus on a Saturday night, two Russians groped and tongued each other right at the entrance of the bus, where everyone would had to walk past, and where the bus was most brightly lit.


Outside the pub I work in, two or three old men took their shirts off, and most likely their pants. They were opposite one of the main tube stations in West London.


A near toothless man (I would say five front teeth missing), who wore a long black cloak, a rimmed black hat with a pink feather sticking out, shouted “Beautiful!” to me as he eyed me up and down, in what sounded like a Spanish accent. “Sorry? What is?” I reply just out of that politeness I have to have for work. He nodded his head in my direction. “Beautiful!” “Oh, uh… thanks mate!” I said as I hurried away gesturing at my glass-filled hands. Never have I been happier to be carrying eight glasses at once.


A black transvestite who does not bother with shaving, makeup, speaking with a higher voice or anything that would make him somewhat more feminine apart from wearing a singlet and skirt. It looked worse than it sounds, which is something.

Yes, strange, strange things that happen as frequently as somebody new arrives into London and experience similar things: every single minute of every single day.